BAIDER (ENGLISH VERSION)

ARDENT’S POV

Did I tell you that I love Anmela Eris?

Nope. That was just in my head, keeping and will never be bursted out.

There is an ache in my heart that was suffocating the hell out of me. If only I told her what I feel, would she be my girlfriend? Would I be her lover not Laurent? Would we have a chance to be together?

I never blame anyone for my own negligence. I was supposed to tell what my heart says, but I was too scared for her response to that. So I kept until it was too late. Too late.

I was sitting while looking at them-Anm and Laurent. They were having a great conversation about life, anything.

I bit my lips as if it could lessen the pain in my heart. I had no idea why I was still looking when it hurt me so bad.

Before, when Anm laughed so loud that was music to my ear, radiating to my heart, true happiness filled me, but now, it broke me into two because her life is not for me, for Laurent instead.

I got back to my senses when Alem stretched his arm, giving me a table napkin. “Eww. Are you a guy? Crying in front of me? Really?”

I gave her a sad smile. “I don’t need that.” I raised my hands. “I have hands.” Then, I wiped my tears using the back of my hands.

I did not notice that tears were dripping on my cheek. I heard the loud sigh of Alemia. She stood up, sat beside me and hugged my neck. She was on my back, bending her body.

“You just need to think of the positives. Anmela is so happy and we should be happy, too. That is what friends are for.”

“I know.” I bit my lips again. I was trying to ignore their presence, but no matter where my eyes viewed, it ended up watching how they laughed, how they wrapped themselves around each other’s body, and how Laurent caressed her with his gentle touch.

That should be me. That should be if I tell her earlier.

“Right girl will come.” Alem messed up my hair.

I knew that she could feel my pain. We were best friends and after all of this, we ended up together. Stick to each other despite my feelings.

“Let’s drink.” Alemia grabbed a glass and put it in front of me. “Let’s drown in alcohol until all of the problems in this world disappear!”

Another small smile when I watched her pour the glass with liquor. “Alemia, how can you handle your heartbreaks?” Out of nowhere, I asked her.

She had plenty of ex boyfriends. They all ended up strangers and I am idolizing them because she encompassed all the pain.

She just shrugged. “I just found myself laughing after crying. I just accept the things that are not to me anymore. Accept that they already leave me. It is a matter of time and healing. And also, it depends on how you love that person. Did you love her so much?”

“Yes.” I did not hesitate to answer.

Why would I lie if I can tell the truth?

I loved her so much to the point that I covered all my feelings not to ruin our friendship.

“Poor Ardent.” She looked at Anmela, she was now having a big smile while messing Laurent’s hair.

The stab in my heart continues to cause ache. They are a match for each other. Even Laurent does not spell his feelings, I can see it through his eyes and actions.

She loves Anmela so much. So big. So possessive. Infinite.

“Look at her smile. It’s genuine.”

I do not know if Alem was teasing me or what.

“Don’t worry, Ardent, I will grab all of my single friends and arrange a date for you.” She laughed as if it was so easy to do. “You will find true love. Soon.”

“Anmela is my true love.” I spell out.

“Not tomorrow. I swear you can find someone.”

Our heart talks lasted for about an hour. Thanks to Alem, my heart lightened even if a bit.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

We had fun, drank as much as we could. Dance until our feet were aching and could not walk. We spent the whole time with just pure happiness even though the heaviness in my heart did not leave me. It got worse when I saw the tight hug of Anmela and Laurent. Anm was leaning her face on his chest, her hands were enveloping his big body while Laurent was kissing her head, bending down a bit and hugging her compactly as if there were some who would steal her away from him.

If I am just a friend who has no feelings for her, I am fully happy, but even if I forced myself, nothing can take away my painful heart.

The scenes for both of them were perfect. Yeah, that was perfect, but not to me.

All I am wishing for is their forever happiness. I will move on. For sure. One day. Soon.

“Where can I meet your friend?” I asked Alem. We were in the room, fixing the bed sheet. Their house is big. The guest’s room is not yet fixed so we cleaned first.

Alem grew a teasing smile on her lips. “I will ask who is available tomorrow.”

“I will meet whoever it is.”

“Sure! You are a nice looking man, Ardent. For sure they will like you. All you need to do is to choose.”

I covered my mouth when the chuckles came out. “Wow? Are they clothes to be chosen?”

The sound of her laughter filled the room. “Just don’t be sad.”

“I am not sad. Just broken.”

“Why?”

We both widened our eyes when we saw Anmela on the door. Worry was written on her face when she stepped closer to us. “Did a dumb you?”

I shook my head and was ready to protest when Alemia took. “Yes! He loves that woman so much and then he knew that the woman has a boyfriend! That is why Ardent is really heartbroken right now!”

I just moved my head from left to right.

Alem always saved my ass.

My eyes widened and my body froze when Anmela left no distance between us. She embraced me so tightly.

I blinked three times not to let my tears flow. I raised my hands up and hugged her back tightly.

I love this girl so much. I have no idea how I can climb up in the deep of my love to escape the reality that I am not the man she loves.