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Once the Healers left, the men looked at me. I was calmer than I had been and I guess it showed. They didn’t bind me and allowed me to knit with purposefully dull needles while they played a game like chess. Christof kept looking at me, but he didn’t speak.
It shouldn’t surprise me, I knew. These men had no idea what was going on with me or how to fix it. They were confused and upset. We didn’t want to lose each other, but none of us knew what to do for the other.
We got ready for bed and Bane held a strip of leather. If they wanted to bind me, I wouldn’t stop them, but he seemed hesitant. In deference to their desire I offered him my hands to tie. Damien finally settled on tying one of my wrists to a long leash. I couldn’t get up from the bed, but was otherwise free to move.
I slept fine and woke up when they did. Evan cleaned and fed me, but they didn’t take me to the transport. The same Keepers from yesterday showed up right before Rose and Fuji did.
The men left silently and I sat on the bed with my friends. Once again, I was tethered with a simple tie around my neck.
“Give me,” Fuji demanded, grabbing our work pad. “You prevented me from doing the work I was told to do yesterday.”
Without a pause she was hooked into the system and drawing pictures of her owners. I watched curiously as her hands drew exact replicas of the men who owned her. She diagramed quite expertly the way they held their weapons.
Rose had my attention after a moment more.
“Have you heard more from Hannah?” she asked quietly.
No, I had not. I bemoaned the long periods of time that would exist between Hannah’s messages. How I longed to see her again. If only I had been able to spend more time with her last time she was here…
“She loves you,” Rose said casually, “like any daughter would love her mother. Except for the Sister she found, you are the only creature on the planet that must truly care for her.”NôvelDrama.Org owns © this.
A tear formed in my eye thinking about Hannah. We had such a short time together, but were connected in such a primal way. I missed her dearly.
“Imagine if you were not here to receive the next message she sends…” Rose said suddenly and I almost forgot to breath. “What would she think if she dropped into the forest by the Keepers’ and you never came in or went out?”
My eyes were wet with tears imagining Hannah’s expressive face crushed by my strange disappearance.
“Could you really end your life knowing you would never be able to explain it to her?” Rose asked in the same soft voice.
I thought I would throw up and fought the feeling. No, I could never leave Hannah like that. She would never understand. How could she? Hannah had memories, but she was still a child.
I was on the bed crying like a maniac, but Rose would not stop. I couldn’t hurt myself, it would only end up hurting my baby. Hannah would never understand and never forgive me.
I agreed with Rose and begged her to stop. She refused and continued to push. She talked about the anger and resentment Hannah would have. No one on this world would understand it, poor Hannah would bear the burden alone.
By lunch time Rose had broken me. I was a crying mess on the bed. Christof came to feed me and I begged for forgiveness. I swore to him I would never hurt Hannah that way.
He tried to feed me and I threw it up. Eventually he fed me root and put a touch of calming cream on my head. In the back of my mind I was beginning to feel a little dependent on the stuff. Ridiculous really to come to an alien place and get addicted.
“Rest, Ciara,” he said softly stroking my hair.
“No more,” I begged him, “please make her stop, Christof. I can’t take anymore.”
“We are satisfied,” he said quietly. “No more is needed. You understand now, that is good.”
The cream on my head left me hazy and relaxed. That volume used didn’t remove my memories, though. As Rose and Fuji played a card game on the bed, I realized what they’d done.
They’d used Rose to get to me. She was obviously better versed in the delicate art of human psyche than Damien and his Brothers. They didn’t talk to me because they didn’t want to screw up her work.
“Rose?” I called quietly.
My eyes were shut because the cream made me dizzy, but I felt her leaning over me. Her slender hands were on my upper arms and her breath was on my cheek as she answered. She was such a tiny yet powerful creature.
“Did they ask you to make me… see reason?”
She leaned on me a little more fully, but still there was almost no weight at all.
“It is not my place to say,” she said softly backing away and going back to her game with Fuji.
Of course not, I thought as I let my mind wander. She was an obedient slave, she’d not speak out of turn. Still, I pushed.
“They won’t know,” I told her cracking one eye open.
“Yes, Ciara, they will know. Now stop with this. You know what you must do and now you have a good reason to do it. Hannah is a good reason, I’m glad you understand that.”
“Yes.”
“Then sleep for a little while,” she said as I drifted off.
The men came back to me late that night looking dirty and scuffed, but relieved. They stripped out of their dirty garments and I saw bruises on them, but no bad wounds.
As I watched them disrobed, they watched me. None of them said anything though. They looked relaxed despite their disheveled appearance.
Their actions spoke for them. They took me off my tether and they didn’t put one back on. When we left the apartment, no one restrained me. I took these as signs that had relented and were forgiving me. Since they didn’t talk about it, I didn’t either. Instead I commented on their appearance.
“Was there a fight?” I asked as we walked down to the bathhouse.
“Men from the compound on the other side of the great barren stretch,” Christof told me. “They were bandits and have been raiding the traveling men. We found them after the midday meal. It was quite a battle. Several groups escaped, but we brought one family before the General.”
“Very good,” I praised.
I wondered if my sons would be outlaws or bandits. It was a possibility. Those men seemed to keep the Warriors happy, so that was good. It was a delicate balance the women allowed the men to have here.
I was a little clumsy, but still managed to make Damien grunt happily as I rubbed him. Tonight I washed all of them, even Christof slid under my hands. I smoothed my palms over each of them and felt them melt a little under the caresses.
The pool was nearly deserted when I was done. I looked up and glanced furtively around. There was almost no one here. I’d never heard it so quiet.
“Increased patrols to find the bandits,” Bane said answering the unasked question. “We would usually have taken a night patrol as well, but we have… other responsibilities.”
I shuddered and looked at my own belly in the water. “I am fertile then?”
Hands gripped my arms and pulled me back until I rested in Damien’s lap.
“No, Sister,” he whispered in my ear, “you were unwell. We needed to watch over you. Leaving you with Keepers at night is not acceptable. The Healers want you monitored by those that know you well.”
Christof chuckled and used the cloth I had been cleaning them with to wash one arm as Kein washed my legs. “The Healers knew you would come back to yourself quickly when you spoke to them. They heard the desire in your voice to stay with us. You wished to hide your illness. They knew we had not upset you.”
“No, it wasn’t you-” I started to say and was stopped.
“We know,” Damien said softly, “we understand. Do you understand now?”
“I must not refuse the women,” I said softly, “I must do as they ask. There is no simple escape for me.”
“Correct,” Damien said and then he whispered in my ear. “Do not leave us,” he begged softly. “We will find a way out, but stay with us.”
His eyes reflected the emotion of the entire family. I also felt the turmoil and the desire for freedom. We were not giving up, but this was not a fight we could win, yet.
I was cleaned in the water, much like I usually cleaned them. Once they were done we retired upstairs to have dinner. It was a simple meal tonight.
Unlike the last two nights I was left free when we laid down to rest. The men were happy and relaxed. In a strange way, so was I. There were no more thoughts of death or destruction in my mind. I didn’t worry anymore about what would or could happen. It just wasn’t my place to have those concerns.
Whatever would happen, would just have to happen. For the second time on this planet I accepted my role as a slave. To survive in that role, I would do what I was told.
At least, until escape was an option.