Chapter 37
Phoebe Point of View
“You have a beautiful house, Mrs. Russo.” The most esteemed guest announced with a smile. Mrs. Clara gave the brightest smile that I ever saw, to the new young girl.
Serena… Wow, her name sounds so good. And so does her!
She looked like one of those humble and beautiful royal; She has well groomed soft hair past shoulder while her dress reached her knees. She has this really attractive forever smile on her lips that led Nicco to smile at her easily which irritated me to no end. Heck, even the way she speak is so pretty.
It has been just twenty minutes since her arrival and she got all the members of the house wrapped around her finger.
“And you made it more beautiful. Oh, look at you, you look so gorgeous!” Mrs. Clara exclaimed in a high pitched voice holding the young lady’s hand in hers and rubbed them with her wrinkled thumb affectionately.
There is no doubt that both the grandmother and grandson are bewitched by the young guest.
Serena chuckled lightly at the compliment and thanked her in a low mumble. “My Nonna has so many stories to tell me about your adventures with her. It was almost as if I know you from a long time even though it is my first time meeting you personally. Mrs. Russo.” The young guest mumbled politely with amusement playing on her face.
“Who is Mrs. Russo here? Call me Nonna, amore.” Mrs. Clara scolded her playfully and hugged her pulling Nicco too into the hug making Nicco hug Serena from back.
My hands were itching to get there and pulling him away from her but looking at how happy he looked, my hands itched more to actually slap him.
If he was going to be this way, then why should he marry me and give me hope?
I thought, slowly but gradually, we might have a common ground in the new relationship but it is confusing to me when I see Nicco genuinely happy at these matchmaking efforts.
“Of course, Nonna.” Serena smiled back at both of them. In the moment of fury, I threw a nasty glare at Nicco which he saw, but effortlessly ignore and gave all his attention to the young guest.
“I heard you refused to work for your father in family business?” Nicco asked attentively putting on a sly smile, probably directed to me.
I was so annoyed by him that I walked into the kitchen to look for Mrs. Jones and help her with setting the table. Seriously, if I stay one more moment there, I would smack Nicco or myself for his actions.
Putting the food into various bowls, I can still hear what they are talking. It was as if their voices rose than before.
“That’s true, Nick.” Nick? It is your first time meeting him and you are right away on nickname? “I wanted to try something of my own. I like reading fiction a lot, almost obsessed with them. My dream is to open an opportunity to get the new aspiring talents published.” Serena said and the excitement in her voice is so clear.
I froze when her repeated in my mind over and over. Dream! Dream is one word which makes a person complete in real sense.
Dream… I use to have a dream too, a goal – to have a degree in communications stream and work for some good IT companies. I used to love gadgets at one point of time in the past.
Young and active, at the prime time of my teenage, I used to have a zeal to do everything I can and wanted to experiment myself in many things. I was simply too curious of myself and always tried to learn more about self.
Heck, I was obsessed with education.
I wanted to study and study until my brain was filled with data completely; that was how much I loved studies.
Looking back at the long years I spent as a mere shadow in an escort house, I cannot help but contemplate about giving up my life. The idea itself gave me a sort of peace.
“You are crying.” I jolted out of my reverie when I heard his whisper very close to me. I turned around and found him standing just an inch away from me and Mrs. Jones is nowhere seen.
“Ah yes. I just remembered something, nothing important. What are you doing here?” I answered back wiping away the tears.
“What made you look so sad?” He asked narrowing his eyes at me concernedly, ignoring my question. Taking my time, I inspected his eyes and found concern and guilt quite clear in them. Concern, I understand; but why guilt?
“Nothind important, NIcco, just a passing memory.” I brushed off his question and cleared my throat when an awkward silence filled the room.
No goal,
No dream,
No basic education,
No finances,
No friends,
No family,
With nothing prominent, why am I still keeping up with this life? For what?
Is it for Nicco? Undoubtedly yes because he is the only person who gave me meaning to live. Keeping on living this way, I am hurting myself but I am mostly hurting the person I love and who loves me the most too.
He sighed and looked over me once and stepped back to walk away. “How did we reach at this point of life, Nicco?” I questioned.
I’m fed up of this. I just want to have some peace in my life – if ever I keep up living for few more days or years. If being away from Nicco killed me every moment, staying close to him who is angry is torturous.
I find myself like a cat on the wall, no matter what side I step, I will get hurt.
“You tell me, Bella. Why are we at this end?” He asked, slowly turning back to face me.
My heart almost jumped out of my rib cage when he called me Bella after such a long time, with the same affection. That moment, I realized how much I actually missed him. I regret every second I took him for granted when I heard him call me Bella.
“I – ” I gulped the nervousness down and looked at him bravely. “I really loved you and still love you. I have my reasons to leave you, Nicco and it was never my intention to hurt you.” I swallowed back the tears that were pushing to be released.
I’m just so unhappy with everything. There is no motivation in my life and the only thing or a person who matter the most to me is so angry with me that he is going as far as to marry someone else just to spite me.
And the toughest thing was, I understand him. I know he loves me and only me. I know he can never love any other woman regardless I was alive or dead. But he can do it to spite me for sure. He is feeling betrayed by my decision to leave and understandably, I would be feeling the same too if I were in his place.
Our lives are just too complicated alone or together.
“I know.” He answered, suddenly fire spitting from his eyes. A deep scowl formed on his face as he strode to me in one big step and pulled me to him by my shoulders. “But you know what hurt me the most, you did not have faith in me to make everything right between us after your contract ended.” He breathed out harshly, looking broken and enraged all together.
“I wished you just gave yourself some time and put some trust in me before just disappearing that way. You know, I was waiting for your contract to end so I could…” He choked up. I choked myself when I noticed how broken he looks.
Till now, I was thinking about myself and how I was dying and hurting when I was away from him but now I realized how much he is suffering. I was not just a lover but his friend and a companion too.
We just didn’t have sex, we spent such valuable time with each other like friends and family. It makes me want to slap myself for ignoring his feelings in the whole ordeal.
“I was waiting for the time for your contract to end so I can sweep you away and get married as soon as possible. It would had hurt me less if you left me for your future and career with the new found freedom but you left me because you thought you are not to my standard. You thought I would be happy with someone else when I have only one person in my heart.” I felt like a bad person when I saw tears in his eyes.
“Your f***ing letter hurt me the most because you disregarded me and our love just because you wanted me to have a good life with someone of my status. Couldn’t you have put just a little faith in me, Bella?” A hiccup escaped my mouth when the whole lot of emotions hit me like a storm.
His question left me speechless. Should have I been there and trusted him to take charge?
Was he really planning to marry me?
But why? I am a no one and his family will never accept me no matter what. But then again, Nicco does love me so much to do anything for me.
Should I have trusted him over my decision?Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
How would have our lives turned if I didn’t leave?
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