HOW TO CATCH A BAD BOY

Elena froze, and she had to clench her teeth tightly to keep from screaming at her that there was no conceivable way she could have known that when they’d never freaking talked about it.

Emily, like a rabid dog, saw the pause in her motion and pounced on it. “I thought you guys talked about it, okay? And I just … I was trying to make conversation because seriously, I was trying to be nice to him. I wanted to get closer to him because I thought it’d make you happy, and honestly, I was starting to like him. I just wanted to have a conversation.”

By telling him I had a crush on his brother! Elena wanted to scream. Her eyes pinched shut. This was killing her.

Because no matter how pissed she was, she could feel it seeping through her skin, how miserable Emily was.

She was sad. She was frustrated. She was scared.

Between the two of them, Elena was always the one who caved first. Who tried to keep the peace. Who let things slide. And she didn’t want to let this slide because she was miserable too.

She missed Chandler. She wanted to punch him in the balls for acting like he had. Yet she understood. He was a man with zero relationship experience, and not just that, but he wasn’t raised in a way where he saw a healthy one modeled for him. She and Emily were lucky enough to have parents who cared deeply about each, and they knew how it was supposed to look.

They were raised in a home where they saw-day in and day out-love and respect, communication, and structure in the way that kids needed it. Their father was the foundation, the strong timbers that kept the house standing in place. And their mother, she was the walls, the roof, the windows. The thing that completed they family and made it safe.

“I messed up, Elena,” Emily whispered.

Elena had heard her say it a thousand times in the last day. “And I’m sorry. I love you.”

Her nose burned, and her hand started shaking. Elena felt her stand. The stubbornness she was feeling was so deep-rooted, she wasn’t even sure where it came from. To be honest, she wasn’t even entirely sure what she wanted from Emily. For her to rewind time, maybe? From the corner of her eye, she saw Emily pause before she left the room.

“I-I didn’t know how important he was to you. It took me by surprise. And,” Emily sniffed noisily, “this is killing me, Elena. You can’t shut me out completely. Yell at me, throw something at me, slap me, something! I deserve it.”

All of a sudden, she was on her knees in front of Elena, and she had no choice but to look at her. Her face was wet. So was Elena’s.

“I know how much this is killing you too,” she whispered in a thick voice.

“You’re my best friend, and I can feel how awful it all is for you, and don’t you think that’s punishment enough for me? I know how much your heart is breaking because I can feel it.”

“I …” Elena paused. “I’m still so hurt, Emily. Because it feels like you said something on purpose to mess it up for me.”

Her face collapsed. “I swear I didn’t.”

“I know you keep saying that,” Elena cried. She shoved her phone aside. “But this is the first time I’ve had something that was just mine, and yes, I should’ve told him, and I would’ve eventually, but it was mine to tell him. Not yours.”

“I know.” She sniffed. “I’m so sorry.”

Elena stood from the bed and paced the room. “And it’s embarrassing, okay? I can’t believe you knew I had a crush on Elijah that whole time and you never said anything. Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Because … I don’t know! I know the two of you so well, Elena. You’re … you’re the same person. I love Elijah, I do, and I love you more than anything in the entire world …”

“But?” Elena crossed her arms tightly over her chest and waited her out. She didn’t want to say whatever she’d been about to say.

Emily shifted from the floor onto the bed. She licked her lips, and Elena noticed for the first time that she had matching dark circles under her eyes. Looked like neither of them had slept the night before.

“But you would’ve been the most boring couple ever.”

Elena’s mouth fell open. “That’s so freaking rude,” she whispered.

“No, I mean …” She rubbed her forehead. “Okay, I just mean there wouldn’t have been any spark. No fire. You probably would have been perfectly happy, and sweet and blah blah blah, but Elijah is the boy version of you.” Her eyes pleaded with Elena. “Why do you think I get along with him so well? He’s just like you.”

Slowly, Elena sank into the chair in front of her desk and processed what her sister was saying. And Emily wasn’t wrong. Elijah and Elena had so much in common. It was weird, though, now, to try to think about him in a romantic sense. Not just because he was married now or because of what Emily said, but because of what she’d experienced with Chandler-oh hell, would her heart ever not hurt thinking of his name?-which was in an entirely different universe.

He was her opposite. Elijah’s opposite too. And as pissed as she still was that he’d stormed out the way he did, she couldn’t help but look at her sister and try to put herself in Chandler’s shoes. Like he said, the thought of him wanting anything with Emily that night, hoping he might cross some invisible boundary, it hurt. Oh, how it hurt.

“I shouldn’t have ignored you,” Elena whispered. “I’m sorry too.”

Emily sagged in relief. “No, it’s okay that you were upset. You had every right to be.”

“Maybe I was channeling my inner Emily.” Elena smiled. “I don’t know where that stubborn streak came from.”

Her sister swiped at her face and laughed. “I know, right?”

Elena let out a sigh that came from so far down in her soul that Emily laughed again.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all these,” she motioned to her chest, “feelings.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.