Inevitably Yours

I stood at my locker Monday morning with a slight smile. When I stopped thinking about everything so hard, I ended up having a lot of fun with Jaxx on Saturday night. Christy didn’t even know we were gone until hours later, which relieved my guilt there. I spent Sunday doing homework, catching up on chores, and then talking with Jaxx on the phone. He pestered me about when he could see me again, but I had to put him off with wrestling in full swing and Jazz Band beginning.

Brina and John were arguing about something menial. Kyle and Reese weren’t at school yet, and Carl was pretending to read a book, but I caught him staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You look different,” he said. “But I can’t figure out why.”

“I’m not different,” I argued.

“Quinn, it’s almost 7:30 in the morning, and you are smiling. You are not a morning person,” he pointed out. I shrugged.

“It’s now a crime to have a good morning,” I said.

“Does that morning have anything to do with your new boyfriend?” I heard Christy call from down the hall. She was jogging toward us happily.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“Boyfriend?” Carl said, jaw swinging open. “Who?”

“Jaxx,” Christy smiled, reaching us. “My mate’s best friend!”

“Wait, you found your mate?” Carl asked.

“Yes!” she said, jumping up and down. She stopped and turned to me, pointing a finger and putting her other hand on her h*p. “And you totally knew the whole time! Bree told me last night that you knew since we went bowling! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He wanted you to fall for him without knowing,” I said. “Who am I to mess with that?”

She pouted for a second. “I’m only not mad because Aubree is the best mate ever, and I am so in love!” We both started to laugh.

“Okay,” Carl said. “I am going to need you to back up. Christy now has a mate, and Quinn is dating his best friend?”

“We’ve all gone out a bunch since, you know….” Christy said.

“After we delivered her to her surprise party, she was busy being swept off her feet by her prince charming,” I explained. “Jaxx talked me into going out with him. I went, and we had a really good time.”

“I don’t believe it,” Carl said. “I didn’t think it would happen.”

“That’s a little offensive,” I frowned. “What makes you think I couldn’t get a boyfriend?”

Carl reached forward and grabbed the book I was holding. “This. Real life is not like your books,” he said. “I just didn’t think it would happen, especially after-”

“Stop,” I said, snatching my book back. “I’m not stupid. I know the difference between real life and fantasy. I don’t walk around with my head in the clouds. You would think my friend would be happy for me.” I slammed my locker and stormed away from them.

Reese was coming into the school as I went down the hall. “Hey, Q! What’s the rage for?” he called as I went right past him.

“Ask Carl,” I linked him and continued.

–

Instead of going to lunch, I hid behind the band room in the back hallway. I didn’t want to be around my friends if they were going to be jerks about my decision, and I didn’t want any comments about having a boyfriend from Christy or my other band friends.

I pulled out my notebook from my bag and opened it in my lap, but my pen didn’t move. I sat there staring at the blank pages for a while before movement interrupted my peace.

“Didn’t you learn your lesson about running off alone?” Tommy said, striding towards me. I gave him a half-smile.

“I’m pretty sure I’m out of danger now,” I said.

“Well, Christy can’t tell if you’re mad at her or not. She’s a ball of mixed emotions. She’s oozing with happiness that she found her mate, and he treats her like a princess, but she is also worried that you will dump your new boyfriend because of an argument this morning,” he informed me as he sat down.

“I just wanted to be alone, is all,” I said, looking back down at my notebook.

“I gotta ask. Is it Michael or that guy from the bonfire?” he asked.

“Does it matter?” I countered.

Tommy shrugged. “I guess not. So long as it’s what you want and not what everyone is trying to get you to do,” he said.

“It’s not Michael,” I admitted.

“But it is what you want,” he pressed.

“Yea, I think so. I had a lot of fun the other night, and he’s nice,” I concluded.

“Okay,” he said. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

“That’s it?” I questioned. “I thought I would get more than that.”

He opened one eye to look at me, then closed it again. “I wanted to be alone too. We can be alone together. Unless you want me to go away?”

I smiled and leaned against his shoulder. “No. You can stay. If you want to tell someone about it, I’m here.”

“I wish I didn’t love her, but I do,” he said.

“Sometimes, we can’t help it. It sneaks up on you,” I commiserated.

“Yea,” he sighed. “Now shush. I’m trying to be alone.” It was silent for a second before we both started laughing.

–

With marching band season over, my Wednesday evening practices were now traded for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Jazz Band now took up that time while wrestling kept me busy most weekends. Because I was becoming increasingly busy with school and homework was piling up as the end of the semester drew nearer, my mom decided Sunday nights we would have ‘family dinner,’ and no one was excused. One of my uncles even started coming over with my aunt and cousin each week.

Michael was texting me less and less, and we seldom spoke on the phone. Every time we did talk, the conversation seemed very superficial. I really missed him and wished he wasn’t pulling away. It made me feel guilty, but I got more excited to see a message or call from him than I did from Jaxx.

Jaxx and I talked every day. He wished I had more free time but understood why I didn’t. He kept trying to pick me up on Sundays when I didn’t have anything school-related, but my mom stopped that.

Winter had hit the pack, and snow was taking up residence on the ground. I always loved this time of year, even if I felt cold. The white snow always seemed to refresh the world and give it a new slate. My parents always worked overtime this time of the year, so most days, I walked home from school. A few times, Ricky was on his way out of wrestling practice when I was leaving and gave me a ride.

One day, after a particularly difficult practice in preparation for our winter concert, I walked out of the school to find Jaxx waiting for me, leaning against his car. He smiled as I came down the walkway.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“Because I haven’t gotten to see my girlfriend. You said your parents were working late tonight, so I thought I would pick you up,” he said.

“That’s so sweet,” I smiled.

“I figured if I can’t get you to go out with me, I would come to you,” he said. He reached for my hand and intertwined my fingers. “I’ve really missed you. Talking and texting aren’t enough.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned.

“It’s okay. I’m here now. So let’s get out of the cold,” he said. I nodded, and he pulled me close for a hug. We got into his car, and he headed toward my house. “So, what should we do?”

“We could watch a movie or something?” I offered. “My basement is set up like a rec room.”

“Sounds perfect,” he said. I was more than happy to relax on the couch for a couple of hours. I still had to study before bed, but my brain needed a break from everything.

When we got to my house, I let us in with my key. My brother wasn’t home, so I assumed he was at a friend’s house. I showed Jaxx the shelves of movies so he could choose something while I put my backpack away.

When I had my stuff put away, I joined Jaxx in the hallway. “This is a pretty big collection,” he said.

“My dad likes movies,” I said.

“Let’s watch this,” he said, handing one to me. I looked at it and grimaced. “What?” he asked.

“Um, I don’t like scary stuff,” I said.

“I forgot,” he said. He took it back and put it on the shelf before scanning through the titles again. “How about this?” he asked, pulling out something with more action.

“That’s cool,” I said, relieved he didn’t press the issue.

He grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers again. “Lead the way,” he said. We headed down the stairs to the basement, and I put the movie in. He sat on the couch and waited for me to join him. I grabbed a blanket before coming to sit next to him. As I sat down, he grabbed my waist and pulled me close, so I was almost in his lap. I wasn’t expecting to be so close to him.

“You okay?” he asked. I nodded as I hit play on the remote. He relaxed into the couch, seeming perfectly at ease with our position.

“If you don’t relax, he will notice,” Sapphire pointed out.

“I just wasn’t expecting this, okay?” I argued. “We have been out on one date.”

“If you don’t like him, why are we here?” Sapphire asked blatantly.

“I didn’t say that,” I defended. “It’s just….”

“It doesn’t feel the same as Michael?”

“Yea,” I lamented. “Shouldn’t it?”

“No,” Sapphire answered. “He isn’t Michael. It won’t feel the same because they aren’t the same person. But he doesn’t stand a chance if you don’t give him one.”

“I thought you were team Michael,” I countered.

“I like Michael very much. I wouldn’t be a very good wolf if I told made you sit around and hold out hope, though, would I?”

“You don’t think he’s coming back. You think he is going to break his promise?”

Sapphire decided not to answer. I peaked up at Jaxx, who was engrossed in the movie I had yet to pay any attention to. Sapphire was right in one regard; Jaxx wasn’t Michael, and he didn’t stand a chance if I didn’t try to give him one. He looked down at me and smiled.

“Everything alright?” he asked. I nodded my head and pulled the blanket over my lap. “Cold?”

“A little. The basement doesn’t have heat,” I said.

“I didn’t think it was cold enough to bother wolves yet,” he said. I shrugged. “Here,” he said as he pulled the blanket up. He grabbed my legs and shifted them over his before laying the blanket over both of us. “That’ll help.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. I grabbed his hand and held it in mine, resting them on my lap. Jaxx smiled happily before turning back to the movie.

Sitting there with Jaxx was pleasant. I didn’t have the same nervous butterflies as I did with Michael, but Jaxx seemed less unpredictable. I tried to be okay with the fact that I might never feel the same heart-pounding way that I did with Michael. Maybe that was reserved for your epic love; maybe Michael was my epic love, and that was over. Or perhaps it would all feel different when I found my mate.