Chapter 41
Chapter 41 Audrey
I paced back and forth across my dorm room, the floorboards creaking beneath the carpet with each step. My hands repeatedly came up to clutch my hair, and my brow was knit so tightly together I thought it might get stuck like that for eternity. "I just don't understand how he thinks he actually has the authority to tell me and cannot date," I growled under my breath. "I mean, the gall!"
h** I can
Tina, who was perched on my bed with a bag of chips in her hand, watched me curiously. Popping another chip into her mouth, she replied, "That's f**d up, Audrey. He's not allowed to do that."
I let out a wry laugh. "Yeah, I know. But he's such a stubborn a** that he refuses to see how ridiculous it is."
My friend was silent for a moment. When I turned to look at her, she was watching me intently.
"Maybe you should tell the vice dean," she said after a few beats. "Tell her that Professor Brooks is trying to dictate your personal life outside of class. He'd likely get a scolding, and maybe you could switch to another professor for your teaching assistantship." For reasons I wasn't ready to admit to myself, I snorted derisively at the thought of working under another professor.
"No. I want to work for Edw-I mean, Professor Brooks."
Tina blinked at me in surprise for a moment. "You don't have to switch. But you could still talk to the vice dean about it. She'll put him in his place."
My throat worked helplessly for a moment as Tina's words sank in. Telling the vice dean... It was the most obvious, logical course of action here. I would have been lying if I said that I hadn't already considered it. And yet...
"No," I murmured with a heavy sigh, sinking back down onto the edge of my bed. "I... I can't. If anyone finds out about what happened between us on New Year's Eve..." My voice trailed off; I couldn't even finish the words.
Not that I needed to, of course. Tina understood the implications, and her hand came up to gently rest on any shoulder. "I get it, Audrey," she said softly. "You two could both. get in trouble. Especially him."
I nodded stiffly. "Yeah. Despite everything, I don't want him to lose his job or anything like that. So I have to be careful with what I say and do."
"What's your plan, then?" Tina asked, popping another chip in her mouth. She held the bag out to me, but I shook my head, my stomach too sick to eat anything. "You can't let him walk all over you like this. He's clearly just jealous of you and Gavin."
The thought made the tiniest ghost of a smirk tug at the corners of my lips. Edwin, jealous... As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at the idea. Not that it pi**ed me off any less.
"I don't know," I said after a few moments of silence. "I won't allow him to get in the way of my personal life, but I also can't put my teaching assistantship in jeopardy. So I guess I just have to show him that I can still have a life and be a good teaching assistant at the same time."
Tina stared at me for several long moments. I felt her gaze boring into the side of my head, and it made my checks flush hotly. When I looked over at her, the knowing look in her eyes almost made me shrivel up. "Do you even want to date Gavin?" she finally asked.
At that moment, I felt as if my stomach bottomed out. Ever since that picture with us in the background had been posted, people were in a frenzy. Other students were 'shipping' us, calling us the 'background lovers. But when it came down to answering Tina's question, the words died on my tongue.
"Things have been pretty crazy since that party, huh?"
The sound of a familiar male voice caused me to turn. There, standing behind me in the crowded, noisy cafeteria, was Gavin-holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a weathered book in the other. Even now, without me even saying anything to him, people were looking at
us.
I swallowed hard and managed a tight smile despite the dozen or so eyes that were on us. "Yeah. I didn't know we were being photographed..."
Gavin's checks flushed a muted shade of red, and he jerked his head over toward the stairwell with a silent question in his eyes. I nodded and followed him, just glad to get out of the line of sight of the other gossipping students, even though I knew that us going off alone together would just make matters worse.
"It's the background lovers!" I heard a voice hiss amongst the crowd. "I wonder where they're going..."
"Hey! Gavin and Audrey!" another voice, this one brazen and loud, cried out. "Are you two dating yet?" I felt like I might be sick.
"Just ignore them," Gavin said softly as we made our way over to the space below the stairs where we'd be free from the prying eyes, at least for a few moments.
I snorted and sat down onto the bench that adorned the dimly lit space. "They're like vultures circling roadkill," I retorted.
Gavin opened his mouth as though to say something, but then shut it again, instead sipping his coffee and sliding onto the bench next to me. Neither of us spoke for a few moments-we hadn't spoken since the party. Since he had tried to kiss me and I, out of panic, had resorted to a peck on the cheek.
"Audrey.." He cleared his throat and set his coffee down on the small table in front of us, turning to me. I felt my stomach twist into a knot, but I managed to keep my shoulders pulled back as I turned to face him. "I think we should talk about this." "What's up?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
"What do you think of... us?"
The question left my head reg even though I had expected it. Before I could even formulate a response, Gavin was holding his hand out to stop me.
"Look," he said, "you don't have to give me a straight answer right now. But... I like you, Audrey. I don't hate the idea of us being shipped together."
"Gavin, I..." I swallowed hard, the words that I knew I should say immediately caught in my throat.
I knew I had no real reason to reject him; he was kind, respectful, handsome, and the same age as me. And yet... There was something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it just didn't feel...
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out,
"Could I at least take you on a date tonight?" he asked, his voice shaking ever so slightly with nerves. "There's a fashion exhibit at the museum in town. We could go, h have a coffee..." He paused, smiling slightly, and ran a hand through his hair. "...And see. where things go?"
For a long moment, my mouth opened and closed over and over again like a fish out of water, my mind spinning too quickly to come up with a response. Once again, I knew that there was no real reason for me to say no, but there was also no romantic spark there-at least not for me.
But why did I feel that way, I wondered? Was it actually how I felt, or... Was it the jealous professor who was keeping me from being with someone who was actually good for
me:
"Gavin..." I pursed my lips, wringing my hands tightly in my lap as I looked up at him. The hope in his eyes made me soften, and finally I had to make a decision. "I'll go out with you tonight."