Chapter 314
Elva was introducing Nicholas to her dolls when I came closer. I caught Nicholas's eye and smiled at him, he made no return gesture. He simply blinked at me and looked back at Elva.
Elva received all of his smiles today. While I was glad for it - I would never be jealous of my child - I felt the growing rift between Nicholas and me. He had not forgiven me, then, for kissing Julian. For doing what needed to be done to both save the kingdom, and him.
When playtime was over, Nicholas gave Elva a big hug.
"I'll see you out," I told him as they parted.
"Please visit again, Nick-lass!" Elva called.
"I will," he said. "I promise."
That was good enough for Elva. She returned to her dolls.
When Nicholas and I reached the door, I turned to face him. "Nick, we need to talk about this
"What is there to talk about, Piper?"
"This." I waved between us. I hated feelings so distant from him, like he was giving me the cold shoulder. "I understand you don't like the idea of Julian and me, but..."NôvelDrama.Org: owner of this content.
He crossed his arms. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation.
"Can't you see what I'm doing is exactly what you've been doing with Olivia and Lilliana? It's not real," I said.
"This is different than that," he said, voice flat.
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"How?" I pressed.
He locked his jaw. He didn't have a good enough answer then.
"It's okay to be jealous," I said.
"I'm not jealous." Suddenly emotion was back in his voice, fierce and sharp, and totally contradictory to his words.
It made something inside of me snap.
"Oh, no? Then what is it? Because whatever is going on between Julian and me isn't real. It's just an act to rally the kingdom behind the royal family. Can't you see that? Why are you trying to punish me for it?"
I hadn't meant to say so much, but my heart was so battle worn from the growing distance between us. I hadn't been able to shield my feelings at all. If anything, I only felt more heartsick, being apart from him.
Could he feel it too? Was that part of why he was so cold? Did our distance make him just as miserable?
Finally, at once, Nicholas sighed and all of the tension slipped away with him. A bit of warmth returned to his voice and his eyes. He seemed almost sad, looking at me now.
"I'm not trying to punish you, Piper. I'm just... infuriated by the situation. You shouldn't be in this position. None of this should fall on you."
"I'm strong," I said. "I can handle it."
"I know that, but I still don't like it." Clenching his jaw, he locked away. "I also don't trust Julian,"
"Julian would never hurt me." Of that, I was entirely certain.
Nicholas shook his head. "I'm not worried about him hurting you..."
I frowned. "Then what?"
His gaze slid back to me and for a long moment, he stared down at me, as if he could see into the depths of my soul. He stepped closer, right into my space, forcing me to look up at him.
He could kiss me like this. I wanted him too. I held my breath, anticipating.
His eyes slipped down to my lips. I licked them.
He swallowed hard.
Time slowed. If he tried to kiss me, I would let him. Putting distance between us felt like a terrible mistake. I'd right it now, if he'd let me. I'd kiss him until we both needed to come up for air.
Instead, he stepped back. "Goodnight, Piper," he said, then turned and left the room.