Chapter 18
I’m feeling anxious because I can’t see Emma anywhere. She’s not in the kitchen or the living room and even when I went to our rooms and looked for her, it was obvious she hadn’t been there either.
When I head downstairs, I find Alessandro watching me with a brooding expression and an air of boredom. I notice another can in his hand and the slight redness to his eye and wonder how many he’s had. A girl is trying to engage his attention, but he is staring at me as if the demons are circling and, rather than feel anxious, it just wraps me in safety, familiarity, and home.
He completely ignores the girl and pushes past, and her face falls when she sees me approaching.
“Have you seen Emma?”
I don’t know why I think he’d tell me anything, and I was right, because he shrugs. “No.”
Sighing heavily, I make to push past him, and he blocks my escape, leaning down and growling ominously, “Where are you going?”
“To find Emma, of course. Surely that’s obvious.”
“Where’s, Baron?”
He doesn’t seem to want to know about anything else, and I shrug. “I don’t know. I’m looking for my friend. Maybe he’s doing the same.”
He crowds my space and leans in, whispering darkly, “Leave her, she’s fine.”
“How do you know, unless…” I feel the realization hit me because for fuck’s sake, they promised.
“Where’s Flynn?”
He smirks. “Maybe he’s found a friend to play with.”
“Emma?” My heart fills with anger and he grins, backing me against the wall and crowding my space. “Leave her. She’s safe and won’t thank you for it.”
“What have you done? Where is she?”
I try to look around him, but his body is one mass of solid muscle, and he must be well over six feet tall. The fact his hair hangs wild, and his eyes are feral, makes my heart beat faster as he whispers huskily, “I’m your bodyguard, sweetheart, and there is nowhere left to run.”
“Why would I run?”
“To help your friend, to save the world, how the fuck do I know what you think, but I’ve been assigned your personal guardian angel along with the rest of them and I take my duties extremely seriously.”
He is so close, I can feel the heat from his body as it mixes with aftershave and cigarettes along with the scent of alcohol on his breath.
“You’re drunk.”
I state the obvious and he grins, his eyes flashing, which is a serious turn on that I could really do without right now.
“Guilty as charged.”
For some twisted reason, I’m enjoying being the focus of his attention and I know as soon as Angelo sees us, he’ll tear us apart, so I say innocently, “Why don’t I get you some fresh air?”
“Is that what you want, sweetheart, fresh air?” He laughs out loud, and I nod. “Yes, I think you could use some.”
Smiling, I push him gently away and guide him through the back door and hear sobbing coming from around the back of the house.
Alessandro sobers up almost instantaneously and grabs my arm, pulling me behind him. We turn the corner and I see a girl crouched on the ground against the side of the house, tears streaking her face.
“Are you ok?” I feel concerned and wonder what happened, and she shakes her head. “Not really.”
Alessandro growls and I fix him with a withering look. “Back off.”
Dropping to my knees, I say kindly, “Would you like to clean up inside? I could fetch someone if you like.”
It’s obvious she’s been fooling around, and I hope to God it wasn’t against her will and she sobs. “No one can help me.”
I look at Alessandro in surprise and he shrugs and turns away. Bastard.
“I can help you.” I try to remain calm, but inwardly I’m so angry on her behalf. Whoever did this left her discarded in the dirt and that will never be ok with me.
“I just want to go home.”
“I’ll walk with you then.”
Alessandro’s irritated sigh causes me to snap, “We can’t leave her.”
“Fine, then let’s get this over with.”
I help her to her feet, and she looks at me with a lot of embarrassment as she brushes the dirt from her legs and tries to wipe the tears from her face.
“You must think I’m an idiot.”
“I don’t think anything.”
We start walking toward the cheerleader’s house, and I wonder why she came at all. She doesn’t seem the type to enjoy one of Angelo’s parties and as Alessandro follows like the Grim Reaper behind us, silent and deadly, I whisper, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She glances nervously behind her. “No, it’s fine. I’m just feeling like a bit of a fool, really.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it; we all do things we regret in the morning.”
Wishing I had that luxury, I sigh heavily. “You’ll be fine.”
She nods and says with a slight break to her voice, “I wish your brother was as kind as you.”
My heart drops. Angelo.
“Did he do this to you?”
I feel sick inside as she nods and leans closer so Alessandro can’t hear her. “It was my idea and I kind of pushed him into it, but he was so cold, brutal even and then walked away, leaving me there.”
“Why did you let him?” I’m more curious than judgmental, and she sighs.
“I had an argument with my boyfriend because I heard he fucked one of my friends under the bleachers. I wanted to hit him where it hurt, I suppose.”
“That’s disgusting, him I mean.”
“Yes, it is, but I was no better. I went to that party hoping for what I got and the fact it happened is down to me. The trouble is, it’s not that much of a secret and I’m guessing the entire school will be disgusted with me in the morning and he will drop me anyway, probably hooking up with Jenny instead.”
“Is that your friend?”
We stop outside the house, and she sighs heavily. “She was.” Turning to face me, her eyes are bright as she whispers, “You know, it sucks when you lose your best friend and your guy in one moment of madness. Anyway, thank you. You helped when you didn’t need to, and I appreciate that.”
“Yes, it did. Losing your friend more than your guy, I mean.” I smile.
“What will you do now?”
She looks at the house and shakes her head. “Clean up my act, ditch my boyfriend, and concentrate on graduating. What else can I do? I’m my own worst enemy, Winter. I shouldn’t be let out at night.”
The door opens, and a girl looks out into the darkness and whispers loudly, “Sammy?”
“Is that Jenny?” I ask because the pain on Sammy’s face tells me she’s dealing with shit right now and she nods. “Yes.”
The girl runs down the steps and looks at us hesitantly, glancing nervously behind us at Alessandro, who is a large forbidding shadow of menace.
She looks as if she’s been crying and her voice shakes as she whispers, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”
Sammy just steps forward and pulls her in for a hug and I hear her say softly, “Come on, we need to talk.”
As they turn to head inside, I feel a pang of longing for a close friend like that. Someone who obviously cares and is there when I need them. Whatever happened with Sammy’s boyfriend is obviously not as important as their friendship and I’m glad about that and as they head up the steps, Sammy turns and says gratefully, “Thanks, Winter. You’re welcome here anytime.
Just don’t bring your brother.”
Her laughter reassures me and as the door closes, Alessandro steps beside me and says gruffly, “I’ll never understand women.”
“In what way?”
“If my best friend screwed my girl, I’d knock him dead. Not comfort him when he apologizes.”
I smile to myself. “I think they’ve got it right. Unlike the rest of you who use women with no regard for their feelings.”
“Feelings.” Alessandro laughs bitterly. “Feelings are for people who have that luxury. We don’t.”
Turning, he grabs my arm and growls, “We should be getting back. The last thing I need is your brother thinking I’m doing the same with his sister.”
“You leave my brother to me.”
I feel so sick when I think of Angelo using Sammy like a cheap whore, and yet I’m not surprised. My father is his only example in life, and he would have done far worse.
“Don’t you wish it was different, Alessandro?”
I’m curious because I’m guessing his life is much like ours, and he growls. “Every fucking minute of my life.”
I’m curious about what that involves and can’t resist saying, “What will you do when you leave college?”
“Same as Angelo, probably.”
He doesn’t seem inclined to talk and I wonder if anything gets through to these guys, but I keep on trying, anyway. “Will you return to Italy?”
He laughs bitterly. “My family live in Boston now. Only my grandfather remains in Italy. My father decided he preferred new territory and set up there. I’m expected to fall into line and be the good son, but my grandfather wants me back in Italy to replace him when he’s gone.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Like I’d rather cut off my own balls and live like a monk rather than bury myself in the homeland and deal with what that involves.”
“Can you refuse?”
He stops and his dark eyes flashing is the only emotion I see as he hisses, “I never had you down for a fool, Winter.”
“I’m not.” I feel my anger rising and he leans in so close I almost take a step back as he invades my personal space, causing a shiver of desire to run through my body because Alessandro is everything I dreamed of, standing right before me looking as if he wants to devour me on the spot.
“I want my freedom. To live life under my own terms and conditions and have the freedom of choice. I don’t want to live in fear of never seeing the sunrise and wondering if this is my last day on earth. I want to be allowed to choose my own wife and my own career and not live under the shadow of pain and I don’t want to join the family business where drugs, sex and arms deals are spoken about on a fucking agenda every morning.”Content © provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
He looks so lost and I know how that feels, so I reach out and touch his broad shoulder and whisper, “What would you choose if that freedom was yours?”
For a second, his eyes burn with a longing that makes me shiver inside, and he leans closer and says, almost as if he’s somewhere else, “I want to make movies. Lose myself in a world where I can make anything happen.
Take life and mold it to my dreams and live out fantasy. I want to drive away reality and I want to run as far away from my birth right as possible. But right now, Winter, in this moment, standing in the darkness, I want to the freedom to love you.”
I step back in surprise and his words hit me hard. He feels it too.
This upsets me more than anything because now he’s voiced something I only imagined; it makes it harder to resist. Edging a little closer, I daren’t look into his eyes and whisper, “Maybe we can have that, Alessandro, for one night only.”
His deep breathing makes me look up and what I see drives a stake through my heart. The longing, the pain, and the emptiness mirrors my own and tentatively he reaches up and allows my dark hair to filter through his fingers and just feeling his touch makes me stand as if frozen to the spot.
I shiver inside as he pulls me toward him carefully and leans closer, his lips hovering dangerously close to mine and it would be so easy to step a little closer and into his heat, feeling him close around me like a safety net.
His lips brush against mine and I feel the desire drench my reasoning as we hover between ruin and salvation and he whispers, “One kiss would start a war that I wouldn’t survive.”
“I know.”
The pain in my heart is hard to deal with because we can’t even enjoy the freedom college was meant to bring us. But I can’t let go and whisper with desperation, “Just one kiss to remind me I’m human, that’s all I ask.”
I know he’s struggling, but I want this so badly I don’t stop to think about that and my heart falls when he pulls away abruptly. “One kiss changes history, Winter and if I thought it would change ours, I’d go there like a Rocketship, but it will just complicate an increasingly complicated situation.”
“Why is it complicated?”
I can’t let this moment go and he says angrily, “Because I want you and you know it. I want to protect you, to love you and to be given a chance of happiness with you but I’m a fool if I think that’s an option, so once again, I’m falling in line and being the good soldier because I will not start something I can’t finish.”
“A kiss. You won’t even give me that.”
I know I sound like a weak, petulant child and completely understand how Sammy got herself into the mess earlier. It appears common sense is abandoned when desire takes over and I’m surprised when he lifts my face to his and says gently, “I want to kiss you so badly I can hardly breathe. I’ve never met anyone like you, Winter. Beautiful, strong and brave. Kind and considerate despite the horrors you’ve witnessed, and it makes me feel almost human seeing you deal with your shit life when I need the bottle to make me forget mine. I want what you have, Winter, in every way, and I have a feeling that one kiss is all it would take to ruin me forever.”
“I’ve never been kissed, Alessandro, never had that luxury. Maybe I will never know what it feels like to kiss a man I want more than air. Maybe it was never going to be my pleasure to enjoy, and I shouldn’t ask for something that will ruin me too. But I need to know what that feels like to remind me I’m human when…” I break away because the thought of my first kiss with a monster is too frightening to think about and so I’m surprised when a strong hand wraps around my head and pulls me toward him and as his lips claim mine, hell freezes over for the briefest second and stops burning.
His kiss is soft, possessive, and dominant, yet the sweetest taste in the world. His lips are soft against mine and I love how his tongue claims mine, licking, sucking, and tasting as if he can’t get enough. I feel his hard body pressed against me as he pulls me close and just feeling him harden makes me long for more. We share a never-ending kiss, at least I wish it was and as we kiss under the stars, I can almost believe in magic. Soft, then hard, slow, then fast, we make this kiss count, knowing it’s out first and last. Out here in the shadows, we can be anyone we want to be and as we enjoy that feeling for once in our lives, forbidden desires are indulged that should never had been allowed to blossom into something that will go no further. Yes, for one night only, Winter Sontauro is a normal girl, kissing a man who she wants more than anything in life and for the briefest moment, it feels like heaven.